Imagine your fears as wooden ducks

In the book Escape From Cubicle Nation, author Pamela Slim spends a good portion of the book talking about overcoming fears, a common reason why people stay in jobs that they hate. This quote in particular struck me:

Habits expert Havi Brooks [who, by the way, has a great way of using other words rather than the normal words] imagines her fears as wooden ducks, and observes them as they trail dutifully behind her as she walks through her day.

It is a great technique to help change your perspective on situations and give yourself a chance to see it in another light. I used this technique as a kid when I had nightmares. When I would wake up from a bad dream, I would try to make the situation into a funny one by giving the scary character a tutu or something like that.

Now you have to have a conversation with your boss, or you have to talk to a friend about something they said, and this situation is causing some trepidation. Your mind is running through worst case scenarios and you can't make it stop. I still kind of like putting my fears into a ballet that is dances on the table in front of me.

So what can you fun image can you change your fears into?

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Zero Gravity Thinkers

Are you stuck in a rut? Do you find yourself doing the same things over and over again, or are you struggling to find a new solution that seems to evade you?

We often think that innovation comes from those creative types that sit around throwing pencils at the ceiling most of the time, but every once in a while some moment of brilliance happens. Well, that scenario is probably true, but anyone can be part of the innovation process.

Where can you begin? By asking questions. Usually, just starting to ask questions can be a good start,but these kind of questions can get you down the right path.

In the article from a previous post, the author writes about this point:

In her 2006 book, “Innovation Killer: How What We Know Limits What We Can Imagine — and What Smart Companies Are Doing About It,” Cynthia Barton Rabe proposes bringing in outsiders whom she calls zero-gravity thinkers to keep creativity and innovation on track.
...
“I would ask my very, very basic questions,” she said, noting that it frustrated some of the people who didn’t know her. Once they got past that point, however, “it always turned out that we could come up with some terrific ideas,” she said.

While Ms. Rabe usually worked inside the companies she discussed in her book, she said outside consultants could also serve the zero-gravity role, but only if their expertise was not identical to that of the group already working on the project.
“Look for people with renaissance-thinker tendencies, who’ve done work in a related area but not in your specific field,” she says. “Make it possible for someone who doesn’t report directly to that area to come in and say the emperor has no clothes.”

Sometimes, we are our own problem. Past success usually means future stalemate, because the future is dynamic yet it is hard for us to let go of something that has worked for us previously.

Ask basic, simple questions that you think are probably petty and beneath you, and then start writing down answers or more questions. Ask other people, especially people outside of your organization. You might be amazed at the new paths that open up in front of you.

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The Desire Code

I have been posting thoughts as I go through the book Buying In: The Secret Dialogue Between What We Buy and Who We Are. This week I would like to examine his idea of what he terms the "desire code." And no, it's not about whatever just popped into your head.

Rob Walker states that there is a fundamental tension between two desires that is shared by almost every human being:

• We all want to feel like individuals.

• We all want to feel like a part of something bigger than ourselves.

How we generally resolve the tension is by joining a group that seems distinctive because it represents our own individuality. Yet it is still a group. But it makes us feel important as an individual. I hope you get the picture.

He uses the story of skateboarders, who felt like they were outsiders and started forming groups. These groups provided a distinctive identity that made them feel good as an individual but also gave them a group of friends and a network of like-minded people.

I know as I read those two bullet points, I was like "Yeah, I want to feel like I'm unique and not just a part of the Borg. The last thing I want to feel like is some statistic that represents the average Joe (sorry Joe) that gets lost in the crowd. Forget Where's Waldo - where's John?" And then, "Man, I don't want to do this by myself. I kind of like people, especially when they aren't annoying me."

Walker's point is that in an age in which there is very little qualitative difference between products, brands help provide that connection with distinctive groups and identities that we wish to be a part of. As we do so, we also help interpret and create the identity, and the identity can can evolve beyond the control of the people who produced the product.

What I would like to ponder is the identity that I am pursuing. It certainly isn't a linear or singular identity - life if far more complex than that. But am I happy with the my own personal brand that people identify with me, or am I just settling for a common denominator that surrounds me?

There is a game called Imaginiff that is quite fun. You and your friends write down the names of people on the board, and when it is time for that name to be used, a card is drawn and something like this is read:

"Imaginiff ______ were a breakfast. What would she/he be?"
1. coffee and the wall street journal,
2. muesli and fruit,
3. croissant and cafe latte,
4. sausages, bacon, and eggs,
5. vitamin b injections,
6. pancakes.

Then everybody who is playing chooses the number that corresponds to what they think ___________ is, and put it upside down on the table. When everyone decides, you flip them over to see which one got the most votes.

So what if you emailed your friends and asked, "Imaginiff I was a brand. What brand would I be?"

I think it might be good to go shopping every once in a while to see if there might be a better brand, maybe an upgrade. Go for the best quality brand that you can be.

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The Cheesy Motivational Poster That Got Me

I have a love/hate relationship with inspirational posters. OK, maybe most people don't take them serious enough to even have a relationship with them, but this is one of those things that you spend way too much time thinking about and you're not quite sure why. Maybe for you it's why there is braille in drive-thru's. Since you are now wondering, here is an answer that I found (because after I wrote the question, it was bothering me): it's there because of Federal law. the Americans with Disabilities Act of 1990, Public Law 101-336, requires it. This is also why there are braille instructions and labels in elevators. Now the nagging question is why does our government make laws so that braille is on drive-thru's.

I was at my son's school for some kid program when I saw this motivational poster that went something like this: To have things you never had, you have to do things you have never done before.

It's actually been bugging me for about a week now, enough that I am now putting it down on screen paper so that maybe it will bug you too.

That saying is the antithesis of complaining. I don't generally like complaining, even when I do it. In theory, it makes sense and is easily done: I don't like the way things are, so I'd better do something different.

But the alternative solution, as suggested by that pithy saying, is that people should do something different. But the rub - it is just easier to complain.

Maybe this is why there seems to be few powerful people, and "power" meant not in the ability to buy or forcefully coerce people into doing what you want, but powerful in that they are doing what we know we should be doing but can't get the gumption to do so.

I'm interested: anyone have something that they want different, but haven't done anything about it?

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Hiatus

I've been on blogging hiatus for a while. Besides the new job, getting acclimated to a different place, getting the kids in school, and just generally being pretty busy, I've also got a new project that I'm working on. At the website for my church you can now ask a question and we are going to do a video blog to answer it. Should be fun, and I'm going to try to do one most weeks (no guarantees!). Hopefully it will have both a serious and humorous side to it.

Otherwise, I'm going to start dedicating an hour a week to do the blog, so hopefully you will find new content on here at least once a week.

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Mission Statements

Have I mentioned lately that I am down on mission statements? It's nothing personal if you do happen to have one. It's not that they can't be useful, at least to a few.

I have to agree with Guy Kawasaki, a venture capitalist, that they are just overrated and generally cost too much time and money to generate. Instead, he suggests something else that may be more profound for the organization.

Now I do believe in understanding what you are trying to accomplish. But is it really that difficult? If you are a business, you are striving to provide a great product or serve the customer while keeping expenses lower than cost. If you are a church, you are striving to develop committed disciples of Jesus.

Oh, you may get fancy on how you say it. It may take a long weekend, or maybe even six months of weekends, to create a fancy paragraph saying basically the same thing. May I suggest another avenue? Dilbert's Mission Statement Generator can do all that for you within a couple of seconds. Here is the one that it generated for me:

We exist to seamlessly supply low-risk high-yield meta-services and collaboratively maintain resource-leveling catalysts for change.

It works as well as many that I've seen. The What and How are the real issue, and they should be examined often since it can and should change.

Here is what Guy Kawasaki says that is even better than a mission statement: a Mantra. Why? Easy to remember, gives a picture of what we are about. A good example? FedEx = "Peace of Mind". What are some great Mantras that you have seen or heard that give a wonderful picture of what the organization is striving for?

In reality, the tough questions are: 1) Are people commiteed to our mission; 2) What are we doing well right now to accomplish our mission; and 3) What are the opportunities available to us in the near future. Those are the six months worth of weekends.

As for number 1, people have to know what the mission is in order to be committed to it, so you do have to make it readily apparent. You would think this would be a no-brainer in the business world, but it really isn't. People get the notions that the business exists to give them a job, to provide office supplies for their home, to provide a forum for idle chatter about how you hope Sanjaya wins American Idol, etc.

This is why it is important to build a wonderful work culture and a great organization. When I worked for a renown management consulting firm, I didn't have to worry about begging other employees to work harder or remind them that they were getting a pay check for actual work done; if they weren't motivated, there were a hundred people lined up ready to take their job.

I want to work and volunteer with people who are as excited about what they are doing as I am. This isn't always the case, but it should be what we are striving for.

As for number 2, your strengths are what are going to help you accomplish your tasks, so take them seriously. Do them even better next year. And drop everything else (which is really the tough part). If you are not excited about it, why are you doing it? What are the last five parts of the organization that you talk about to people, if you talk about them at all? This should be a group exercise, since one person shouldn't do this alone (I might not be as excited about something, but a majority of others in leadership may be). Northpoint Community Church has a wonderful podcast series called "Practically Speaking" that speaks well to these organizational issues.

As for number 3, I'm amazed at how easy it is to get in a rut and just do what is comfortable. Even for me, and I am one of the few that gets antzy if life looks normal for too long. We need people who can speak into our lives and ask questions, annoying questions that you want to squash like that fly that lingers around and you wonder where it has been cleaning itself off. You need, I need it, we all need it, and then thank the person with the annoying questions. Some people prefer paying people occasionally to ask those questions; I'd suggest just finding someone who likes what you are trying to do and can prod with some skill.

As for number 4, what is it that you think should be THE most important questions that organizations should ask themselves?

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Do Something About This, Part 5

Revolution, by Barna, p. 35. Regarding family faith:

• A large majority of churched believers rely upon their church, rather than their family, to train their children to become spiritually mature.
• In an average month, fewer than one out of every ten churched families worships together outside of a church service; just as few pray together, other than at mealtimes; and the same minimal numbers study the Bible together at home or work together to address the needs of disadvantaged people in their community.
• The likelihood of a married couple who are born-again churchgoers getting divorced is the same as couples who are not disciples of Jesus.
• Apart from church-based programs, the typical Christian family spends less than three hours per month in endeavors to jointly develop or apply their faith.
• Most Christian parents do not believe they are dong a good job at facilitating the spiritual development of their children.

What else is there to say? We aren't even helping the people that we spend the most time around. Why?

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Do Something About This, Part 4

Revolution, by Barna, p. 34. Regarding Servanthood:

• In a typical week, only one out of every four believers will allocate some time to serving other people. Most of that time is dedicated to volunteering in church programs that serve congregants; little effort is invested in serving needy people outside the congregation.
• Most churched Christians admit to having seen homeless or hurting people in their community or travels during the past year; a very small percentage says they interacted with any of those disadvantaged individuals.
• They typical believer would rather give money to an organization to allow it to do good deeds in society than personally assist in alleviating the needs of disadvantaged people.

What are we so busy doing?

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Do Something About This, Part 3

Revolution, by Barna, p. 33. Regarding resource investment:

• Churched Christians give away an average of about 3% of their income in a typical year - and feel pleased at their "sacrificial" generosity.
• Fewer than one out of every ten churched Christians donates at least 10% of their income to churches and other nonprofit organizations. (More than 1/3 claim to do so.)
• When asked to explain their understanding of biblical stewardship, less than one out of every twenty includes resources such as time, relationships, ideas, or skills in their assessment.
• Most believers are unable to identify anything specific they have ever donated money to that they would describe as producing life-changing outcomes.

When it comes down to it, do most people believe that the church really is making a difference? Is it because people are struggling with materialism, have not really been given a vision for a changed world, or maybe some of both?

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Do Something About This, Part 2

From Revolution, by Barna, p. 32. Regarding Faith-Based Conversation:

• The typical churched believer will die without leading a single person to a lifesaving knowledge of and relationship with Jesus Christ.
• At any given time, a majority of believers do not have a specific person in mind for whom they are praying in the hope that the person will be saved.
• Most churched Christians believe that since they are not gifted in evangelism, such outreach is not a significant
• responsibility of theirs.

It really is not anything more than having real relationships, making a friend, with someone outside of your faith experience. That's it.

Why do you think this is such a terrifying experience for most people?

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Do Something About This, Part 1

Regarding Worship...

• The biweekly attendance at worship services is, by believers' own admission, generally the only time they worship God.
• Eight out of every ten believers do not feel they have entered into the presence of God, or experienced a connection with Him, during the worship service.
• Half of all believers say they do not feel they have entered into the presence of God or experienced a genuine connection with Him during the past year.
• Only one out of every four churched believers says that when they worship God, they expect Him to be the primary beneficiary of their worship. (Most people say they expect to get the most from the experience.)

From "Revolution" page 31-32 by Barna.

I have to agree with Barna in this book. It's time to stop being the "better church" than the one down the road because we have a better performance. It sometimes feels like we are in a competition with the churches around us. This shouldn't be about being the better Walmart to draw the same customers, it's should be about changing the world.

Questions need to be asked.

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Bad Christmas Ideas, Part 3

The ultimate white elephant gift - The Star Wars Christmas Album! Yes, yes, I know you are saying even George Lucas has some shred of pride and couldn't possibly have sold out to this extent; just go to Amazon and verify for yourself (you can even listen to samples of C3PO singing Christmas in the Stars, ending with the wookie giving someone a kiss under the mistletoe!)

Sorry, took me a few moments to recover from that scene in my head...

Christmas music in general has had its ups and downs for me, unless you are my wife and it is always the ups for her. In my twenties I had publicly denounced Christmas music as totally worthless. A big confession - I secretly entertained a few songs that I just couldn't let go of and might have even been caught singing them under my breath a few times. Personal favorites - "Little Drummer Boy" (that song just chokes me up) and "Do You Hear What I Hear" (although I picture that scene in Gremlins every time I hear it). And how can you not like Feliz Navidad? Ok, so I know how you can not like it, but you certainly can't help but sing it.

So I decided to come out of the Hate The Cheesiness of Christmas closet several years ago, and then something like the Star Wars Christmas album comes out. Oh, Christmas, you are such a devious mistress!

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Bad Christmas Ideas, Part 2

Socks and underwear are on the list according to this article:

http://www.health24.com/teens/General/735-1432,20089.asp

Now, socks don't bother me that much; occasionally I actually need some new ones. Not the most exciting gift. Underwear should just never be on the Santa list, ever. My nephew actually had a way of publicly humiliating you if you were on the special end of an underwear present.

Josh B is always waiting in special anticipation for the moment. Waiting, searching for the sucker who gets the gift that is not in a box, crumples into your hands, and wallah, yells "LOSER!" as soon as you get it open. Fortunately, he usually gets a pair just so that the Loser tag is spread around.

I have a hard time imagining that special moment when you tear open the paper to find 3 pair of your new undergarments (even if they are boxers with hearts on them), look at your special someone with a sigh and puppy eyes and a "I love you" escaping from your lips.

So what are your "Nice try, but you are terrible at gift giving" moments?

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Bad Christmas Ideas, Part 1

The list could go on year round, but we'll probably just go for a couple of days (while I'm in the spirit of the holidays).

This first one isn't even funny, it just gets me upset. Check out this article on a new video game tied to the "Left Behind" series of books sent to me by my good friend Mike.

http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/c/a/2006/12/12/MNG8TMU1KQ1.DTL

Did someone not get the memo that mowing people down with a gun is not a WWJD kind of act?

Ok, so you lose some "spirit points" if you do that instead of "converting" them. Honestly, I haven't played the game so I am relying on this article and other news sources (my pc admittance for the following rant). But, please, how much worse can an interpretation of Revelation get?

Why do we have to throw in violence just to try to get something Christian in the mainstream? It just seems like that Crusade spirit won't die. I wonder how these same people who came up with the idea and produced the game would feel if other religious groups used the same principles in a game for them?

Once again, it also shows that the categorization of people and the "us vs. them" mentality is a part of the brokenness of humanity that slides in under the gun, so to speak. My new quote from Mother Teresa in the signature of emails says it much better than I could:

"If we have no peace, it is because we have forgotten that we belong to each other."

Give peace a chance this holiday season.

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