tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-134041492024-03-07T01:06:50.488-05:00BreathingChanging ourselves so we can change the world.John Vaughthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14866568450621220181noreply@blogger.comBlogger223125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13404149.post-18555225860455479562010-01-07T18:32:00.000-05:002010-01-07T18:32:48.078-05:00I've moved!Due to more control and that I want to post more often, I've moved to another <a href="http://jcvaught.wordpress.com/">site</a>. Please visit!John Vaughthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14866568450621220181noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13404149.post-42760601217517377452010-01-05T09:06:00.001-05:002010-01-05T09:07:18.831-05:00Skip the brainstorming meeting<div>You knew those meetings had something wrong with them, but you couldn't quite put your finger on it. It's because you were involved in group-think, rather than group-analysis. Since when has the majority thought been the most creative?<br /><br />This <a href="http://www.maniactive.com/states/2007/08/bag-boring-brainstorming-meetings.html">article </a>provides a better alternative to those brain-storming meetings in which the majority of the time is spent in group social dynamics rather than coming up with good ideas. The real value of the group is hearing different viewpoints when thinking critically and strategically.<br /><br />My favorite part of the article is when the author purposely puts out the worst idea he can think of, because "there are no bad ideas," and then insists that the moderator puts it on the board.</div>John Vaughthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14866568450621220181noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13404149.post-10129978479661517902010-01-04T10:23:00.003-05:002010-01-04T10:27:30.845-05:00Hope mongeringI love this <a href="http://sethgodin.typepad.com/seths_blog/2010/01/is-there-a-fear-shortage.html?utm_source=feedburner&utm_medium=feed&utm_campaign=Feed%3A+typepad%2Fsethsmainblog+%28Seth%27s+Blog%29">post</a> from <a href="http://sethgodin.com/sg/">Seth Godin</a> on fear and the abundance of its use in the past couple of years. Let's hope there is more hope being spread than fear in 2010. That, at least, is what I am hoping for.John Vaughthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14866568450621220181noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13404149.post-58399415190772341542009-12-29T08:50:00.006-05:002010-01-07T16:34:05.558-05:00Reflecting<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://www.gophila.com/assets/dmt/images/8.TheThinker-B.KristG.jpg"><img style="float:right; margin:0 0 10px 10px;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 401px; height: 600px;" src="http://www.gophila.com/assets/dmt/images/8.TheThinker-B.KristG.jpg" border="0" alt="" /></a><br /><div>I think it is important to reflect on the past (NOTE: did not say whine about the past or sit on a problem on the past). This year was a tough year for my family, as transitions often are, but it is leading to exciting new adventures and new horizons. So this year I am keeping it simple with just two questions but ones that I think can be powerful as I enter the new year:<div><br /></div><div>1) What are the most important lessons I learned this last year?</div><div><br /></div><div>Maybe these lessons came from books, people around you, and mistakes that you experienced. Make sure the lesson is about something that you can control, not general grouchiness over external issues. For example, "I learned that those people did me wrong" is not a good lesson to learn; "I need to have better discernment by doing <i>this</i> in these kind of situations" is a better lesson. They might have run you over, but just avoiding them isn't going to do you much good - there are plenty more of them out there! (And maybe you had something to do with it anyway.)</div><div><br /></div><div>2) What can I celebrate from this last year?</div><div><br /></div><div>The most important question. Begin 2010 on a high note and find ways to recognize the good stuff and incorporate it January 1. That is the best habit you can make.</div></div>John Vaughthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14866568450621220181noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13404149.post-44734033747091289862009-12-24T06:43:00.000-05:002009-12-24T08:32:32.632-05:00Need to blame someone?<div>Looking back on 2009, it was a struggle at times; in fact, it may have held some of the largest trials of the 2000's for myself and my family. I need someone to blame. Fortunately, <a href="http://www.blamesteven.com/">Steven</a> says that I can blame him.</div><div><br /></div><div>There were certainly circumstances and other people that helped contribute to some of the issues, and I will place some of the blame on them. But why should I take any of the blame when I can lay it off on someone else, especially someone so willing? Now I don't have to learn lessons or change my behavior or face hard truths; they are such downers. If I can only find someone to take the consequences as well...</div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div>John Vaughthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14866568450621220181noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13404149.post-67830414748627177402009-12-23T12:24:00.002-05:002009-12-23T12:30:30.413-05:00Whoops!The family and I recently were leaving a choir concert of my daughter's. It was cold and dark so we were bundled up and walking quickly to the minivan. I pulled out the keys and pressed the unlock button to find the car, and saw a Honda Odyssey blink in return. We opened the doors and all piled in. The first clue that something wasn't quite right was that the key didn't turn. The rest of the family was looking around trying to figure out what wasn't quite right when one of the kids piped up, "When did we get leather seats?" I think it dawned on all of us at the same time that we were in the wrong car. We quickly got out and saw another family watching us as they were approaching. We were wondering what the other family was thinking as they watched us quickly get out of their car...John Vaughthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14866568450621220181noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13404149.post-69943723811570131132009-12-16T06:00:00.001-05:002009-12-16T06:00:02.131-05:00Attention surplus disorder<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgpMj7IcFkzRCJeReDDgztgYohYCP_t8u9Wm5rErY0rVO7AU13eUu4XH44uRZfoJoMD7GzFMEPHXwS0zNYdfyepRS2vl48F26JNf9ZuyeNsjftn3DnYPW5EJhjAfkOqwA2pQFP8qA/s1600-h/Reading.jpg"><img style="float:right; margin:0 0 10px 10px;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 192px; height: 289px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgpMj7IcFkzRCJeReDDgztgYohYCP_t8u9Wm5rErY0rVO7AU13eUu4XH44uRZfoJoMD7GzFMEPHXwS0zNYdfyepRS2vl48F26JNf9ZuyeNsjftn3DnYPW5EJhjAfkOqwA2pQFP8qA/s320/Reading.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5415609199362010530" /></a>"Attention surplus disorder" is an amusing phrase I found in the book <i><a href="http://www.amazon.com/Anathem-Neal-Stephenson/dp/006147410X/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1260918094&sr=8-1">Anathem</a></i> (a fiction book which I just didn't get into after the first fifty pages, so I returned it to the library and maybe try again later; but I really like that phrase!).<div><br /></div><div>In my observations, this seems to be an extremely rare disorder - so rare I'm not sure that a case has been found since the turn of the century. We are trying to do the best that we can to eradicate this behavior by celebrating multi-taskers and providing as many distractions as we can to those who have found something worth concentrating on. We are providing water-coolers, email, twitter, blogs, Facebook, and Tetris for our workers as the main distractions with a world of preoccupation at their fingertips through the Internet.</div><div><br /></div><div>Our efforts to eradicate this from our youth seems to be working through our plethora of extracurricular activities - all of which must be attended during the same season - and stimulation of as many senses as possible at once, such as music in one ear and a phone on the other while watching TV and playing video games. Research is being done currently on adding the sense of smell to the mix.</div><div><br /></div><div>The central strategy was of course to attack the home - and we managed it with one of our best weapons: Guilt. Few parents can withstand the simple phrase "I'm bored" and have been brainwashed to immediately provide stimulation without much work from us. No longer are children playing outside are being entranced with natural wonders! </div><div><br /></div><div>Our plan to extirpate this syndrome through constant interruptions must be continued, because let's face it, attention surplus disorder is really annoying. People start to ask questions when they start to think too long or too deeply about something. They start to explore and really get better at stuff rather than just being simply average. They get anxious about the status quo, and that really digs into our comfort zone! Keep up the good work friends, our work is well on its way...<br /></div>John Vaughthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14866568450621220181noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13404149.post-20258001678594558302009-12-14T20:04:00.001-05:002009-12-14T20:04:00.458-05:00Imagine your fears as wooden ducks<div>In the book <i>Escape From Cubicle Nation</i>, author Pamela Slim spends a good portion of the book talking about overcoming fears, a common reason why people stay in jobs that they hate. This quote in particular struck me:</div><div><br /></div><div><blockquote>Habits expert <a href="http://www.fluentself.com/">Havi Brooks</a> [who, by the way, has a great way of using other words rather than the normal words] imagines her fears as wooden ducks, and observes them as they trail dutifully behind her as she walks through her day.</blockquote></div><div><br /></div><div>It is a great technique to help change your perspective on situations and give yourself a chance to see it in another light. I used this technique as a kid when I had nightmares. When I would wake up from a bad dream, I would try to make the situation into a funny one by giving the scary character a tutu or something like that.</div><div><br /></div><div>Now you have to have a conversation with your boss, or you have to talk to a friend about something they said, and this situation is causing some trepidation. Your mind is running through worst case scenarios and you can't make it stop. I still kind of like putting my fears into a ballet that is dances on the table in front of me. </div><div><br /></div><div>So what can you fun image can you change your fears into?</div><div><br /></div>John Vaughthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14866568450621220181noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13404149.post-44999356147131437222009-12-09T08:45:00.004-05:002009-12-09T09:53:44.489-05:00Now on TwitterI'm giving it a shot for a while. Think it will be fun since I can update on the go from my <a href="http://www.apple.com/iphone/">iPhone</a>. The tweets will be different than what I usually do here. Check it out @jcvaught.John Vaughthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14866568450621220181noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13404149.post-66461072715198914542009-12-09T08:24:00.003-05:002009-12-09T08:45:47.064-05:00What offends youSo I was reading this novel <a href="http://www.amazon.com/Bad-Monkeys-Novel-Matt-Ruff/dp/0061240427/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1260365383&sr=8-1"><i>Bad Monkeys</i></a> and was enjoying it when I had to pause over this one section. Two characters are talking when one says:<div><br /></div><div>"Der schlechte Affe hasst seinen eigenen Geruch."</div><div><br /></div><div>Tightly translated it is "The bad monkey hates his own smell." Loosely translated it means that people are most deeply offended by moral failings that mirror their own.</div><div><br /></div><div>I've heard this before. And I've even seen it in action. Knew someone a long time ago that was always angriest at his kids when he thought they were lying - and he had a problem with "the check is in the mail" type statements. You see it with preachers who lament the lack of moral standing in their communities, and are outed sooner or later.</div><div><br /></div><div>So I started thinking: What bothers me most about other people? Does it have a reflection on my own personal struggles? </div><div><br /></div><div>I've been tough on my oldest son every once in a while for not living up to what I think his potential is; probably don't have to mention that this doesn't set well with him. Eventually I will catch myself, or more likely Nancy points it out to me, and then I apologize to him and we get back to a place where we both are enjoying our relationship. Not too long ago I took an extensive personality test and one of the results was that I was highly critical of myself. Here is what it said:</div><div><br /></div><div><blockquote>You recognize that self-improvement is the most important goal, because it is the means of achieving all goals. However, your strong interest in self-improvement combined with only a moderate level of self-acceptance indicates you may tend to be somewhat self-critical. Although at times you have healthy self-esteem, you may at other times make things a little difficult for yourself by being unnecessarily hard on yourself.</blockquote></div><div><br /></div><div>And maybe a little too hard on others close to me. Bad monkey!</div>John Vaughthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14866568450621220181noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13404149.post-32918517310619172822009-12-03T17:54:00.003-05:002009-12-03T18:01:45.738-05:00A leader on leadership<div>The following is a presentation from General Colin Powell. My claim to fame: my wife was friends with his daughter when they were both very young. I feel like we are pretty close...</div><div><br /></div><div>Great points that are succinct and to the point. I believe these are important enough to post on each one over the next couple of weeks.</div><div><br /></div><div style="width:425px;text-align:left" id="__ss_102696"><a style="font:14px Helvetica,Arial,Sans-serif;display:block;margin:12px 0 3px 0;text-decoration:underline;" href="http://www.slideshare.net/guesta3e206/colin-powells-leadership-presentation" title="Colin Powell's Leadership Presentation">Colin Powell's Leadership Presentation</a><object style="margin:0px" width="425" height="355"><param name="movie" value="http://static.slidesharecdn.com/swf/ssplayer2.swf?doc=colin-powells-leadership-presentation297&stripped_title=colin-powells-leadership-presentation"><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"><param name="allowScriptAccess" value="always"><embed src="http://static.slidesharecdn.com/swf/ssplayer2.swf?doc=colin-powells-leadership-presentation297&stripped_title=colin-powells-leadership-presentation" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="355"></embed></object><div style="font-size:11px;font-family:tahoma,arial;height:26px;padding-top:2px;">View more <a style="text-decoration:underline;" href="http://www.slideshare.net/">presentations</a> from <a style="text-decoration:underline;" href="http://www.slideshare.net/guesta3e206">guesta3e206</a>.</div></div>John Vaughthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14866568450621220181noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13404149.post-29276813530713287732009-11-25T07:19:00.004-05:002009-11-25T07:49:23.980-05:00You weren't meant to have a boss<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://beijing07.files.wordpress.com/2007/08/beijing-zoo-lion.jpg"><img style="float:right; margin:0 0 10px 10px;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="http://beijing07.files.wordpress.com/2007/08/beijing-zoo-lion.jpg" border="0" alt="" /></a><br />Check out what venture capitalist <a href="http://www.paulgraham.com/boss.html">Paul Graham</a> says about working for a "boss" in this thought provoking post: <div><br /></div><div><blockquote>I was in Africa last year and saw a lot of animals in the wild that I'd only seen in zoos before. It was remarkable how different they seemed. Particularly lions. Lions in the wild seem about ten times more alive. They're like different animals. I suspect that working for oneself feels better to humans in much the same way that living in the wild must feel better to a wide-ranging predator like a lion. Life in a zoo is easier, but it isn't the life they were designed for.</blockquote></div><div><br /></div><div>This doesn't mean that working for a large company is bad, or that there are not problems in small companies or working for yourself. This is essentially the problem when working for a "boss" (in quotes because you can have a manager that doesn't share this characteristic): you lose your sense of individuality and creativity. If you are only there to fulfill a predetermined task so that you are an asset or a liability, you are seen more as a robotic machine than a person who can bring much to the table.</div><div><br /></div><div>I was just having lunch with a friend of mine who is a hard worker and incredibly smart. He left his company recently because his "boss" didn't think he sat at his desk long enough. But I've also had a "leader" when I worked for PricewaterhouseCoopers that it felt great to work for and encouraged us to grow and be creative. Size doesn't necessarily mean living behind bars, but size certainly increases the chances that bureaucracy starts building the paper walls for zoo development.</div><div><br /></div><div>One attitude that seems to be distinctive between the "boss" and the "leader" is that the "boss" often tries to control while the "leader" challenges. This is not only true for profit-seeking companies, but for groups that require any amount of organization. There are plenty of not-for-profit organizations and churches that forget that they are there precisely to take risks and serve a greater purpose - and need people freed from zoos to be at their best. At the same time, loss of control doesn't necessarily mean lack of accountability.</div><div><br /></div><div>If you are the person in charge, ask yourself this question: Would these people follow me willingly, or are they doing this because they feel they have to?</div>John Vaughthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14866568450621220181noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13404149.post-74044897669413211252009-11-19T06:00:00.002-05:002009-11-19T06:00:08.201-05:00SocialnomicsStill not sure if all these social networks online are worth troubling about? You are already way behind the curve. <div><br /></div><div><br /><object width="560" height="340"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/sIFYPQjYhv8&hl=en_US&fs=1&rel=0"><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/sIFYPQjYhv8&hl=en_US&fs=1&rel=0" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="560" height="340"></embed></object><div><br /><br />Who are you trying to reach? Because that is where they are.<div></div></div></div>John Vaughthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14866568450621220181noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13404149.post-76480360332888865552009-11-18T06:00:00.002-05:002009-11-18T06:00:04.028-05:00Common sense is the enemy of sticky messages<div>Do you want to know why that message that you sweated over and poured your soul into fell onto an audience that didn't seem to care nearly as much as you, and really not even as much as you expected? </div><div><br /></div><div>You thought through it, your ideas and statistics and and bullet points were arranged just so that in the end you could come up with your big idea - but nobody understood why this was the big idea! Or maybe they said, Yeah, we agree, but so what? </div><div><br /></div><div>Chances are your big idea that you worked over, found studies that agree with you, and you even know, you know, that people aren't really doing is something like "companies need great customer service." You just know that without this idea companies are going to struggle, and you have the proof that they are. But people in the audience, or your boss, or co-workers, or congregants, or your kids' sports team are yawning like it is no big deal!</div><div><br /></div><div>The Heath brothers want to tell you why no one is listening to your incredibly important message: They are thinking Duh. In <i><a href="http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/1400064287/ref=s9_simz_gw_s12_p14_i1?pf_rd_m=ATVPDKIKX0DER&pf_rd_s=center-2&pf_rd_r=1HT712K9GKGX0Y1PB7J0&pf_rd_t=101&pf_rd_p=470938631&pf_rd_i=507846">Made To Stick</a></i> (72):</div><div><br /></div><div><blockquote>Common sense is the enemy of sticky messages. When messages sound like common sense, they float gently in one ear and out the other. And why shouldn't they? If I already "get" what you're trying to tell me, why should I obsess about remembering it? The danger, of course, is that what sounds like common sense often isn't... It's your job, as a communicator, to expose the parts of your message that are uncommon sense.</blockquote></div><div><br /></div><div>As an example, <a href="http://shop.nordstrom.com/?cm_ven=google&cm_cat=keyword&cm_pla=exact&cm_ite=nordstrom&ef_id=1408:3:s_f6c90001a700321ea1d4b8bfacb1b884_3700467652:SwNJIdBbricAAAV5YIQAAALA:20091118010849">Nordstrom</a> wanted to explain to its employees that they need "great customer service." They could have said that, and employees would have yawned. Instead the chose to provide stories that are shocking if you have ever worked in retail (examples come from <i><a href="http://www.amazon.com/Built-Last-Successful-Visionary-Companies/dp/0060566108/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1258506033&sr=1-1">Built To Last</a></i>):</div><div><br /></div><div><ul><li>The Nordie who ironed a new shirt for a customer who needed it for a meeting that afternoon;</li><li>The Nordie who cheerfully gift wrapped products a customer bought at Macy's;</li><li>The Nordie who warmed customers' cars in winter while they finished shopping;</li><li>The Nordie who made a last-minute delivery of party clothes to a frantic hostess;</li><li>And even the Nordie who refunded money for a set of tire chains - although Norsdstrom doesn't sell tire chains</li></ul></div><div><br /></div><div>Nordstrom understands that customer service is important, but just saying that doesn't get you anywhere. Now all of a sudden you are comparing what you are supposed to do with the examples. Am I providing <i>that</i> level of customer service?</div><div><br /></div><div>What if instead your message was something more like "Customer Service Is The Only Thing" or "Customers Are More Important Than The CEO." What is the uncommon message, in story form or in a way that surprises or shocks the audience? What if you could tell your idea in a way that actually goes against the grain, yet solves a problem?</div><div><br /></div><div>Now you have something worth sitting up and listening to.</div>John Vaughthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14866568450621220181noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13404149.post-24008713942271084782009-11-15T17:10:00.004-05:002009-11-15T17:32:20.532-05:00Haiku challengeMy daughter and I decided to do a Haiku challenge this week to push our creativity, challenge ourselves, and have some fun. Each day of the week Autumn is going to pick a subject and we have till the end of the day to write a poem using that format. Here is our first one on "winter":<div><br /></div><div>John:</div><div>Bitter wind rebukes</div><div>Then snatches the breathe away;</div><div>See it floating by.</div><div><br /></div><div>Autumn:</div><div>Sugary sprinkles,</div><div>Beautiful white cupcake earth,</div><div>Marshmallow snowmen.</div>John Vaughthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14866568450621220181noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13404149.post-76241736285217156702009-11-05T10:05:00.000-05:002009-11-05T10:16:33.426-05:00Anger and certainty<div>Often when we try to influence someone, we try to do so in a "rational" manner by using stats and logic, because surely if they could only see the "facts" then there is no other conclusion.</div><div><br /></div><div>What we fail to see is that "facts" rarely convince or persuade anyone, they really just help reassure ourselves that we are right. The best way to convince someone of something? You have to tap into their emotions.</div><div><br /></div><div>Don't read that as manipulate. What it basically means is that you have to help them care. Which is why it is so hard to understand why we sometimes use argumentative language that only gets people defensive. If the person on the other side of your cause is guarded <i>because</i> of you, your cause is already lost. Check out this observation from <a href="http://www.amazon.com/Made-Stick-Ideas-Survive-Others/dp/1400064287/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1257433929&sr=8-1"><i>Made To Stick</i></a> (67):</div><div><br /></div><div><blockquote>Emotions are elegantly tuned to help us deal with critical situations. They prepare us for different ways of acting and thinking. We've all heard that anger prepares us to fight and fear prepares us to flee. The linkages between emotion and behavior can be more subtle, though. For instance, a secondary effect of being angry, which was recently discovered by researchers, is that we become more certain of our judgments. When we're angry, we know we're right, as anyone who has been in a relationship can attest.</blockquote></div><div><br /></div><div>Humor opens us up to possibilities. Two-way conversation provides an avenue for people to find bridges into other possibilities. Persuasion is not a battle to be won, but a joining of arms in a cause. Be strong in your beliefs and wise with your words.</div>John Vaughthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14866568450621220181noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13404149.post-56378971962817493912009-11-02T06:00:00.000-05:002009-11-02T06:00:04.580-05:00Don't assumePeople are unhappy in your organization, and you don't know it. <div><br />In the book <span style="font-style:italic;"><a href="http://www.amazon.com/All-Customers-Are-Irrational-Understanding/dp/0814414214/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1252694657&sr=8-1">All Customers Are Irrational</a></span> (73), the author talks about customers leaving and management rarely has a clue: "Several studies over the last few years have shown that, of the customers who recently left a company, only 4 percent ever bothered mentioning to the company that they had some sort of issue."<br /><br /></div><div>You've been there. You've switched services - phone, gas station, electric, whatever - and you didn't bother telling the old company why. You just moved on. </div><div><br /></div><div>The problem is, in the organization you are a part of now, people are unhappy and you don't know it. Unless a crisis occurs, you assume everybody feels the same way you do. But they don't. And they will express that unhappiness to everyone except you.</div><div><br />Don't assume you know what is going on. Don't be the person who locks themselves in their office or stays stuck in their cubicle or refuses to take the temperature of the family dynamics.</div>John Vaughthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14866568450621220181noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13404149.post-32700120631217897882009-10-30T06:00:00.000-04:002009-10-30T06:00:16.817-04:00Setting SailI love this quote from John Shedd:<div><blockquote>A ship in the harbor is safe, but that is not what ships are built for.</blockquote></div><div>It is always a temptation to stay in the safe zone, the place where you are comfortable. But that is not what makes organizations great, or frankly, even of value. A ship that refuses to leave the harbor is a ship that is worthless, except maybe to the crew that is afraid to sail; and that never lasts.</div><div><br /></div><div>To continue the analogy, we like captains who can describe the adventures found on the sea, discovering new lands, and asking people to climb aboard for a trip that has risks but the journey is worth it. Perhaps you are one of those captains longing to lead people in a direction rather than sitting still collecting barnacles. Let me describe what you will inevitably find once you really begin to lead:</div><div><br /></div><div>A "middler." What is a "middler"? Someone who stands on the shore doing all he or she can to hold the ropes so that boat doesn't go anywhere, all because they don't want to get wet.</div><div><br /></div><div>I love how Edwin H. Friedman describes "middlers" in his book <i><a href="http://www.amazon.com/Failure-Nerve-Leadership-Age-Quick/dp/159627042X/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1256826731&sr=8-1">A Failure of Nerve: Leadership in the Age of the Quick Fix</a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal;">:</span></i></div><div><blockquote>In any type of of institution whatsoever, when a self-directed, imaginative, energetic, or creative member is being consistently frustrated and sabotaged rather than encourage and supported, what will turn out to be true one hundred percent of the time, regardless of whether the disrupters are supervisors, subordinates, or peers, is that the person at the top of that institution is a peace-monger. By that I mean a highly anxious risk-avoider, someone who is more concerned with good feelings than with progress, someone whose life revolves around the axis of consesus, a "middler," someone who is so incapable of taking well-defined stands that his "disability" seems to be genetic, someone who functions as if she had been filleted of her backbone, someone who treats conflict or anxiety like mustard gas - one whiff, on goes the emotional gas mask, and he flits.</blockquote></div><div>The best part of his description? Often the "middlers" are nice and charming.</div><div><br /></div><div>If you are going to be a leader, or a captain setting sail out of the harbor of status quo, then expect people to be hanging on to the ropes. Friedman's advice, which we'll explore more later, is to make sure that you are concentrating on your own integrity rather than thinking of the "middlers" as a problem to solve. </div>John Vaughthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14866568450621220181noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13404149.post-1285345850812559552009-10-29T06:00:00.001-04:002009-10-29T06:00:00.535-04:00Ultimate Leaf Wrestling<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiemSUzUtr8D1xivgSr3p_53uAip4IlUrF7EKRI_kf2tyYWRUUquB7bhUIFQlEYyhKu2Cr932HDWmNISd6HxlxXb2ep-cETK_t_TOCO_QegMyzoSbsv29P_ZIc5ipa6EqzLgxwjBQ/s1600-h/IMG_0617.JPG"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 200px; height: 150px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiemSUzUtr8D1xivgSr3p_53uAip4IlUrF7EKRI_kf2tyYWRUUquB7bhUIFQlEYyhKu2Cr932HDWmNISd6HxlxXb2ep-cETK_t_TOCO_QegMyzoSbsv29P_ZIc5ipa6EqzLgxwjBQ/s200/IMG_0617.JPG" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5397032304074125010" /></a><br />I reserve a part of the yard for my kids to find fun things to do with a large pile of leaves. This year they came up with "Ultimate Leaf Wrestling." These are the rules, unchanged from how they wrote them:<div><br /></div><div>ULW</div><div>Ultimate Leaf Wrestling</div><div><br /></div><div>1. No choking</div><div>2. No holding someone under</div><div>3. No pinching</div><div>4. No spitting</div><div>5. No throwing leaves</div><div><br /></div><div>How to win:</div><div>You have to push an oponent off the pile. You have 3 chances if you fall out by yourself. Last one standing in the pile of leaves wins. (if you run out chances you're out)</div><div><br /></div><div>* ONLY TWO TIME OUTS PER MATCH *</div><div><br /></div><div>Types of Games:</div><div>Royal Rumble = free for all</div><div>Single match = 1 v 1</div><div>Tag Team = 1 v 2 or 2 v 2</div><div><br /></div><div>Tag team = if you need a rest you tag your partner, or the person out, and they go in. However, if you step out without touching your partner, there is no extra and the other two keep battling.</div><div><br /></div><div>Single match = normal 1 v 1</div><div><br /></div><div>Royal Rumble = normal rules but more than two people can be in.</div><div><br /></div><div>Let the games begin!</div>John Vaughthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14866568450621220181noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13404149.post-89048452825576540292009-10-28T06:00:00.000-04:002009-10-28T06:00:01.895-04:00The Commander's Intent<div>I recently read a blog that said we should not plan. While I am aware that plans are not fool-proof (see previous blog post), plans do help you think through issues and hopefully help provide great questions (more on this later).</div><div><br /></div>What if, within your organization, people knew basically what to do without needing play-by-play instructions from their leaders? What if people could make decisions on their own and improvise when needed wherever they are and no matter the context? What if people were generating solutions, and this is the amazing part, everyone was on the same page rather than generating solutions that benefit different causes?<div><br /></div><div>In the book <i><a href="http://www.amazon.com/Made-Stick-Ideas-Survive-Others/dp/1400064287/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1256574554&sr=8-1">Made To Stick</a></i> (26), the Heath brothers talk to Colonel Kolditz in the U.S. military about how plans can quickly become obsolete on the battlefield, nicely captured in the phrase "no plan survives contact with the enemy." For you that may be "no sales plan survives contact with the customer" or "no lesson plan survives contact with teenagers." The military adapted a new planning process called Commander's Intent (CI).</div><div></div><blockquote><div>CI is a crisp, plain-talk statement that appears at the top of every order, specifying the plan's goal, the desired end-state of an operation. At high levels of the Army, the CI may be relatively abstract: "Break the will of the enemy in the Southeast region." At the tactical level, for colonels and captains, it is much more concrete: "My intent is to have Third Battalion on Hill 4305, to have the hill cleared of enemy, with only ineffective remnants remaining, so we can protect the flank of Third Brigade as they pass through the lines."</div><div><br /></div><div>The CI never specifies so much detail that it risks being rendered obsolete by unpredictable events. "You can lose the ability to execute the original plan, but you can never lose the responsibility of executing the intent," says Kolditz. In other words, if there's one soldier left in the Third Battalion on Hill 4305, he'd better be doing something to protect the flank of the Third Brigade. </div><div>...</div><div>Colonel Kolditz gives an example: "Suppose I'm commanding an artillery battalion and I say, 'We're going to pass this infantry unit through our lines forward.' That means something different to different groups. The mechanics know that they'll need lots of repair support along the roads, because if a tank breaks down on a bridge the whole operation will come to a screeching halt. The artillery knows they'll need to fire smoke or have engineers generate smoke in the breech area where the infantry unit moves forward, so it won't get shot up as it passes through. As a commander, I could spend a lot of time enumerating every specific task, but as soon as people know what the <i>intent</i> is they begin generating their own solutions."</div></blockquote><div></div><div>Here is an example from a for-profit organization: Southwest. Any guesses on their Commander's Intent? "We are <i>the</i> low-fare airline." In the decision making process, you might have several options to choose from, but with the CI the decision making process has a filter question: which decision helps us stay <i>the</i> low-fare airline?</div><div><br /></div><div>At the Combat Maneuver Training Center, the unit in charge of military simulations, recommends the officers arrive at the Commander's Intent by asking themselves two questions:</div><div></div><blockquote><div>If we do nothing else during tomorrow's mission, we must ___________.</div><div><br /></div><div>The single, most important thing we must do tomorrow is ___________.</div></blockquote><div></div><div>Find the core of what this organization is about. Not two pages, not even two paragraphs. What is the core.</div><div><br /></div><div>This can, <i>and should</i>, be applied to parenting, to religious institutions, to for-profit and not-for-profit organizations, to teams, etc. Two examples that I have used personally:</div><div><br /></div><div>"We are training our kids to be capable and responsible adults by the time they leave our house at 18 years of age." Now there is a end-goal established with a definitive time-line. At each age we know we need to help them progress to being responsible for themselves; what should that look like at 18? How do we backtrack from there to where they should be at 13? This should also help make decisions about involvement in activities, family chores, etc. It is far more than just getting them to be behave like you want them to so they don't embarrass you in that moment.</div><div><br /></div><div>"This church exists to train <i>people</i> to be every-day followers of Jesus." Training is more than lecturing, it also means helping people enact knowledge and behaviors into their lives. It can be applied to different demographics - how do we train students or parents or couples or seniors to be every-day followers of Jesus? It is far bigger mission than copying what you did last year so everyone is happy.</div><div><br /></div><div>So what is your Commander's Intent?</div>John Vaughthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14866568450621220181noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13404149.post-73593351493271271272009-10-27T06:00:00.000-04:002009-10-27T06:00:00.158-04:00El Farol Bar problem<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://image.automotive.com/f/news/9931848+pheader/0605_4wd_01_z+tecate_score_baja_1000+trophy_truck.jpg"><img style="float:right; margin:0 0 10px 10px;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 440px; height: 330px;" src="http://image.automotive.com/f/news/9931848+pheader/0605_4wd_01_z+tecate_score_baja_1000+trophy_truck.jpg" border="0" alt="" /></a>I found this interesting game theory problem in the book <a href="http://www.amazon.com/Traffic-Drive-What-Says-About/dp/0307277194/ref=sr_1_3?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1256563571&sr=8-3"><i>Traffic</i></a> (171):<br /><blockquote>This is a <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/El_Farol_Bar_problem">problem</a> sketched out by the economist W. Brian Arthur, after a bar in Albuquerque, New Mexico. The hypothetical scenario imagines that one hundred people would like to go to the bar to listen to live music, but it seems too crowded if more than sixty show up. How does any one person decide whether or not to go? If they go one night and it's too crowded, do they return the next night, on the thought that people will have been discouraged - or will others have precisely the same thought? Aurthur found, in a simulation, that the mean attendance did indeed hover around sixty, but that the attendance numbers for each night continued to oscillate up and down, for the full one hundred weeks of the trial. Which means that one's chances of going on the right night are essentially random, as people continue to try to adapt their behavior.</blockquote><div>The interesting part of this problem, born out of a real observation of trying to have a fun night at the bar, is that while you are trying to act based on guesses of what others are going to do, they are doing the same thing about you. While you are modifying your behavior based on what they did last night, they are doing the same thing. </div><div><br /></div><div>The moral of the story? Today is a different day than yesterday.</div><div><br /></div><div>We like static thinking. In the good times, and even in the times that are a little rough, we hope that everything will mostly be just like it was yesterday so that I can basically predict what today and tomorrow will be like. But you can't, not even for the people and the organizations and the circumstances that you think you know best. </div><div><br /></div><div>I am all for making plans. But the problem is we like making plans based on static think. I heard this analogy, and unfortunately I cannot remember where the analogy came from; if you know, post it, and I'll give proper citation. The metaphor goes something like this (with a little of my own concoction thrown in): </div><div><br /></div><div>Many people look at the future like a well-built highway -- straight roads, well-defined boundaries, and with the proper markings that show you where you are and how far you've gone. The beat of time is the stripes along the middle that are always the same length and look just like the last hundred miles that you've traveled. You can plan out your route with expectations that little will change along this road. People with this view of the future try to build their lives into lamborghinis - luxuriant, shiny, and it gets to the goal in a hurry.</div><div><br /></div><div>But the future doesn't look like that, it's not static, and they run into obstacles that puncture the tires, dent the sides, if not an all out crash. The economy tanks, their 401 crashes, their kids have problems, they hate their new boss, etc. And here's the weird thing - we still hope that the future is static, either because we can navigate ourselves out of that world that we knew, or we happy just whining about what we know.</div><div><br /></div><div>Here is a better view of the future: it's more like the <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Baja_1000">Baja 1000</a>. You can see what is on the hill in front of you for a short distance, but other than that you have no idea what is on the other side. Be prepared for anything. You need grit and determination more than shiny and fast. You will get dents and scrapes, but that only helps prepare you for the next round.</div><div><br /></div><div>Keep the expectations of your environment and circumstances down, and expectations of yourself up. Work your tail off for what is in front of you. </div><div><br /></div><div>Enjoy the ride!</div>John Vaughthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14866568450621220181noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13404149.post-82365708100850709352009-10-23T06:00:00.001-04:002009-10-26T15:08:13.402-04:00The question is more important than you think<div>This quote from the book <i><a href="http://www.amazon.com/Buying-Secret-Dialogue-Between-What/dp/1400063914/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1256222618&sr=8-1">Buying In</a></i> (40) fascinates me:</div><blockquote>The vast majority of our brain's activities - 98% of it, by one estimation - happens outside of conscious awareness...Daniel Kahneman and Amos Tversky published work indicating that people make decisions about risk partly in reaction to how a problem is framed - their risk tolerance changes depending on the working of the question they are asked, even if the issue described is, in reality, identical.</blockquote>What this means is that you can look at the exact same situation and make two very different decisions based on how someone asks you a question. Nothing about the reality of the situation is different, only the words used in the question asking you to make a decision - and that can change everything!<div><br /></div><div>This means that you need to make sure that you are asking the best questions you can about important decisions for yourself, for your family, and for your teams. Brainstorm the best question that really needs to be answered.<br /><div><br /></div><div>Let's think through a scenario: <i>Your son just came home with a D on his report card.</i> Here are two questions you can ask. Think through your initial response to the first question before you move on to the second one.</div><div><br /></div><div>1) How are you going to punish him?</div><div><br /></div><div><br />2) How are you going to help train him?</div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div>Was their a difference in the possibilities that came into your head?</div><div><br /></div><div>It is worth spending time making sure that you have the best goals for your family and your organization so that the right inquiries can be asked - your behavior and your activities are based more on the questions that you ask, and thus try to answer, rather than abstract concepts framed on a wall.<br /></div><div><br /></div><div>Here is a great example from the book <i><a href="http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/1400064287/ref=s9_simz_gw_s0_p14_i2?pf_rd_m=ATVPDKIKX0DER&pf_rd_s=center-2&pf_rd_r=02J8BVS8KDSJENGT83SC&pf_rd_t=101&pf_rd_p=470938631&pf_rd_i=507846">Made To Stick</a>(186, 187):</i></div><div></div><blockquote><div>Army food is just about what you'd expect: bland, overcooked, and prepared in massive quantities. The dishes are not garnished with sprigs of parsley. The mess halls are essentially calorie factories, giving the troops the fuel they need to do their jobs. An old Army proverb says, "An Army travels on its stomach."</div><div><br /></div><div>The Pegasus chow hall, just outside the Baghdad airport, has developed a different reputation. At Pegasus, the prime rib is perfectly prepared. The fruit platter is a beautiful assortment of watermelon, kiwi fruit, and grapes. There are legends of soldiers driving to Pegasus from the Green Zone (the well-protected Americanized area of Baghdad), along one of the most treacherous roads in Iraq, just to eat a meal.</div><div><br /></div><div>Floyd Lee, the man in charge of Pegasus, was retired from his twenty-five-year career as a Marine Corps and Army cook when the Iraq war began. He came out of retirement to take the job. "The gook Lord gave me a second chance to feed soldiers," he said. "I've waited for this job all my life, and here I am in Baghdad."</div><div><br /></div><div>Lee is well aware that being a soldier is relentlessly difficult. The soldiers often work eighteen-hour days, seven days a week. The threat of danger in Iraq is constant. Lee wants Pegasus to provide a respite from the turmoil. He's clear about his leadership mission: "As I see it, I am not just in charge of food service; I am in charge of morale."</div><div>...</div><div>This vision manifests itself in hundreds of small actions taken by Lee's staff on a daily basis. At Pegasus, the white walls of the typical mess hall are covered with sports banners. There are gold treatments on the windows, and green tablecloths with tassels. The harsh fluorescent lights have been replaced by ceiling fans with soft bulbs. The servers wear tall white chef's hats.</div><div><br /></div><div>The remarkable thing about Pegasus's reputation for great food is that Pegasus works with exactly the same raw materials that everyone else does. Pegasus serves the same twenty-one-day Army menu as other dining halls. Its food comes from the same suppliers. It's the attitude that makes difference. A chef sorts through the daily fruit shipment, culling the bad grapes, selecting the best parts of the watermelon and kiwi, to prepare the perfect fruit tray. At night, the dessert table features five kinds of pie and three kinds of cake. The Sunday prime rib is marinated for two full days. A cook from New orleans orders spices that are mailed to Iraq to enhance the entrees. A dessert chef describes her strawberry cake as "sexual and sensual" - two adjectives never before applied to Army food.</div><div><br /></div><div>Lee realizes that serving food is a job, but improving morale is a mission. Improving morale involves creativity and experimentation and mastery. Serving food involves a ladle.</div></blockquote><div></div><div>What is my job, or What is my mission? How do we feed all these people, or how do we improve morale? How long must we work, or how do we make this incredible?</div><div><br /></div><div>The power of questions.</div></div>John Vaughthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14866568450621220181noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13404149.post-19516707566460744302009-10-22T06:00:00.001-04:002009-10-22T13:54:01.886-04:00The Curse of KnowledgeOne of the best and by far the most useful books I've read in a long time is <a href="http://www.amazon.com/Made-Stick-Ideas-Survive-Others/dp/1400064287/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1256141141&sr=8-1"><i>Made To Stick</i></a> by the brothers Heath. I can't think of a profession or organization that could not benefit greatly by reading this book.<div><br /></div><div>One of the foundations of the book is wrapped around the idea of the Curse of Knowledge. Try this game with some people:</div><div><br /></div><div>Pick a song in your head, and then tap the beat on a table and see if anyone can guess what it is (p. 20 in the book).</div><div><br /></div><div>Go ahead, try it, quit reading ahead. OK, you're reading ahead anyway, so here is the result - they didn't guess it. In fact, they weren't even close. This despite the fact that you could clearly hear the song playing along as you were pounding away on the table thinking about what dopes they are for not easily figuring it out. What sounded like a simple song to you was meaningless taps on a table for them - because they couldn't hear the tune in your head.</div><div><br /></div><div>The Heath brothers say the same thing is going on when we try to communicate thoughts and ideas. We have thought through the possibilities, the struggle to get to the conclusion, read the books, spoken with experts and it all came to this great conclusion. Yet it doesn't seem to be getting through precisely because the audience didn't go through the same process you did. They hear it and it doesn't stick. Why? And how do we make it stick? </div><div><br /></div><div>We will take a look at it over the coming weeks I'll keep adding posts from this book and others, as well as random thoughts.</div>John Vaughthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14866568450621220181noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13404149.post-68286847698372571652009-10-20T16:08:00.001-04:002009-10-20T20:06:21.360-04:00This is what you should tell your kidFirst, let's start with what you shouldn't tell your kid after he or she does something well: "I'm proud of you."<div><br /></div><div>So, was that surprising? It was the first time I heard it. The problem with it, according to <a href="http://www.screamfree.com/">Hal</a>, is that it is really about you. Should they do things just to please you? While it may be nice to think that way, the answer is No. They should do things to please themselves, because it is the right thing to do.</div><div><br /></div><div>Let's turn the question a different direction - should they do things to please people? No. I don't want my kids trying to do things to please their friends, or just to please a boss. I want them to do it because it is the right thing to do, which may go against the grain and the crowd.</div><div><br /></div><div>Let's turn it again - what happens when they don't do something that great? What happens when they strike out at the plate (and when they got a hit you said you were proud of them)? Are you now <i>not</i> proud of them? I hope not. I don't think too highly of those kind of parents. But if you only tell them you are proud of them when they do the great stuff, the implicit message is that you are not when they fail. I want my kids to fail, because at least it means they are trying, they are risking.</div><div><br /></div><div>The last turn - what if, instead, you ask if they are proud of themselves? Help them to think through their accomplishments, especially their role in being responsible and taking steps.<br /><br /></div><div>If you want to praise your kids, the book <a href="http://www.amazon.com/Narcissism-Epidemic-Living-Age-Entitlement/dp/1416575987/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1249502192&sr=8-1">The Narcissism Epidemic</a> (83) says to praise your kids for working hard, because then they will want to work hard. Don't praise your kids for being smart - if it comes to a situation that calls for hard work or one that confuses them, they will shy away from it to protect the "smart" label. In these studies working with kids and how words affect them, those that were told they were "smart" struggled when they got to a problem which was difficult for them; the label "smart" scared them more than helped them. Those that were told they were hard workers buckled down because they believed they could figure it out.</div><div><br /></div><div>Words matter. Be a hard working parent when it comes to your kids.</div>John Vaughthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14866568450621220181noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13404149.post-47929101818556935092009-10-19T08:19:00.002-04:002009-10-19T08:27:58.498-04:00TV and kidsLawrence J. Peter: " Television has changed the American child from an irresistible force into an immovable object. "<br /><br />I saw this quote from <a href="http://www.screamfree.com/index.php">ScreamFree</a> Parenting Tip of the Day and had to pass it on about the TV epidemic:<br /><blockquote>My children can be incredibly creative, generous, helpful and kind. They can also be needy, greedy, self-absorbed, and whiny. I didn’t really catch on to an interesting little trend until our TV recently broke and we had to go without it for close to a month. What I noticed was quite phenomenal. My kids grumbled at first, but then they began to read more, play more, help more and laugh more. What I realized was that the mood in our house was directly proportional to the amount of television we watched.<br /><br />The average American child between the ages of 2-17 watches 25 hours of tv a week. 1 in 5 children watch 44 hours a week. As a busy parent, I get that. Turning on the TV is easier than “entertaining” your kids or listening to them whine about how bored they are. Period. It just is. But I am here to tell you the truth: You’re actually shooting yourself in the foot if you have this mentality. You’re making the chances of them cooperating less and the chances of them being lethargic greater. Just try it out for a week and tell me that I’m wrong: limit tv (both when and how much) and objectively observe your kids’ behavior. I have a strong hunch that you’ll be pleased with the results.</blockquote>Let's face it - turning off the TV is difficult, and it will be doubly so if you and the people in your household are used to watching it. I think it will take more than a week to really feel the difference because the first week the kids will complain for the first twenty hours the TV isn't on and you'll wonder what to do. By the second week, you'll struggle with each other because you are not used to spending so much time together. By the third week, you'll wonder how you had enough time to watch that much TV.<br /><br /><div>Don't cut out TV completely, just sit down and plan it out at the beginning of the week (do the planning with the TV off).<br /><div><br /><div>Over the weekend I had conversations with friends about our agendas in life. When our agenda is to get through the day, TV is the easy answer. If your agenda is people, then you won't want the easy answer.</div></div></div>John Vaughthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14866568450621220181noreply@blogger.com0