Thursday, January 07, 2010

I've moved!

Due to more control and that I want to post more often, I've moved to another site. Please visit!

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Tuesday, January 05, 2010

Skip the brainstorming meeting

You knew those meetings had something wrong with them, but you couldn't quite put your finger on it. It's because you were involved in group-think, rather than group-analysis. Since when has the majority thought been the most creative?

This article provides a better alternative to those brain-storming meetings in which the majority of the time is spent in group social dynamics rather than coming up with good ideas. The real value of the group is hearing different viewpoints when thinking critically and strategically.

My favorite part of the article is when the author purposely puts out the worst idea he can think of, because "there are no bad ideas," and then insists that the moderator puts it on the board.

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Monday, January 04, 2010

Hope mongering

I love this post from Seth Godin on fear and the abundance of its use in the past couple of years. Let's hope there is more hope being spread than fear in 2010. That, at least, is what I am hoping for.

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Tuesday, December 29, 2009

Reflecting


I think it is important to reflect on the past (NOTE: did not say whine about the past or sit on a problem on the past). This year was a tough year for my family, as transitions often are, but it is leading to exciting new adventures and new horizons. So this year I am keeping it simple with just two questions but ones that I think can be powerful as I enter the new year:

1) What are the most important lessons I learned this last year?

Maybe these lessons came from books, people around you, and mistakes that you experienced. Make sure the lesson is about something that you can control, not general grouchiness over external issues. For example, "I learned that those people did me wrong" is not a good lesson to learn; "I need to have better discernment by doing this in these kind of situations" is a better lesson. They might have run you over, but just avoiding them isn't going to do you much good - there are plenty more of them out there! (And maybe you had something to do with it anyway.)

2) What can I celebrate from this last year?

The most important question. Begin 2010 on a high note and find ways to recognize the good stuff and incorporate it January 1. That is the best habit you can make.

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Thursday, December 24, 2009

Need to blame someone?

Looking back on 2009, it was a struggle at times; in fact, it may have held some of the largest trials of the 2000's for myself and my family. I need someone to blame. Fortunately, Steven says that I can blame him.

There were certainly circumstances and other people that helped contribute to some of the issues, and I will place some of the blame on them. But why should I take any of the blame when I can lay it off on someone else, especially someone so willing? Now I don't have to learn lessons or change my behavior or face hard truths; they are such downers. If I can only find someone to take the consequences as well...


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Wednesday, December 23, 2009

Whoops!

The family and I recently were leaving a choir concert of my daughter's. It was cold and dark so we were bundled up and walking quickly to the minivan. I pulled out the keys and pressed the unlock button to find the car, and saw a Honda Odyssey blink in return. We opened the doors and all piled in. The first clue that something wasn't quite right was that the key didn't turn. The rest of the family was looking around trying to figure out what wasn't quite right when one of the kids piped up, "When did we get leather seats?" I think it dawned on all of us at the same time that we were in the wrong car. We quickly got out and saw another family watching us as they were approaching. We were wondering what the other family was thinking as they watched us quickly get out of their car...

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Wednesday, December 16, 2009

Attention surplus disorder

"Attention surplus disorder" is an amusing phrase I found in the book Anathem (a fiction book which I just didn't get into after the first fifty pages, so I returned it to the library and maybe try again later; but I really like that phrase!).


In my observations, this seems to be an extremely rare disorder - so rare I'm not sure that a case has been found since the turn of the century. We are trying to do the best that we can to eradicate this behavior by celebrating multi-taskers and providing as many distractions as we can to those who have found something worth concentrating on. We are providing water-coolers, email, twitter, blogs, Facebook, and Tetris for our workers as the main distractions with a world of preoccupation at their fingertips through the Internet.

Our efforts to eradicate this from our youth seems to be working through our plethora of extracurricular activities - all of which must be attended during the same season - and stimulation of as many senses as possible at once, such as music in one ear and a phone on the other while watching TV and playing video games. Research is being done currently on adding the sense of smell to the mix.

The central strategy was of course to attack the home - and we managed it with one of our best weapons: Guilt. Few parents can withstand the simple phrase "I'm bored" and have been brainwashed to immediately provide stimulation without much work from us. No longer are children playing outside are being entranced with natural wonders!

Our plan to extirpate this syndrome through constant interruptions must be continued, because let's face it, attention surplus disorder is really annoying. People start to ask questions when they start to think too long or too deeply about something. They start to explore and really get better at stuff rather than just being simply average. They get anxious about the status quo, and that really digs into our comfort zone! Keep up the good work friends, our work is well on its way...

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Monday, December 14, 2009

Imagine your fears as wooden ducks

In the book Escape From Cubicle Nation, author Pamela Slim spends a good portion of the book talking about overcoming fears, a common reason why people stay in jobs that they hate. This quote in particular struck me:

Habits expert Havi Brooks [who, by the way, has a great way of using other words rather than the normal words] imagines her fears as wooden ducks, and observes them as they trail dutifully behind her as she walks through her day.

It is a great technique to help change your perspective on situations and give yourself a chance to see it in another light. I used this technique as a kid when I had nightmares. When I would wake up from a bad dream, I would try to make the situation into a funny one by giving the scary character a tutu or something like that.

Now you have to have a conversation with your boss, or you have to talk to a friend about something they said, and this situation is causing some trepidation. Your mind is running through worst case scenarios and you can't make it stop. I still kind of like putting my fears into a ballet that is dances on the table in front of me.

So what can you fun image can you change your fears into?

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Wednesday, December 09, 2009

Now on Twitter

I'm giving it a shot for a while. Think it will be fun since I can update on the go from my iPhone. The tweets will be different than what I usually do here. Check it out @jcvaught.

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What offends you

So I was reading this novel Bad Monkeys and was enjoying it when I had to pause over this one section. Two characters are talking when one says:


"Der schlechte Affe hasst seinen eigenen Geruch."

Tightly translated it is "The bad monkey hates his own smell." Loosely translated it means that people are most deeply offended by moral failings that mirror their own.

I've heard this before. And I've even seen it in action. Knew someone a long time ago that was always angriest at his kids when he thought they were lying - and he had a problem with "the check is in the mail" type statements. You see it with preachers who lament the lack of moral standing in their communities, and are outed sooner or later.

So I started thinking: What bothers me most about other people? Does it have a reflection on my own personal struggles?

I've been tough on my oldest son every once in a while for not living up to what I think his potential is; probably don't have to mention that this doesn't set well with him. Eventually I will catch myself, or more likely Nancy points it out to me, and then I apologize to him and we get back to a place where we both are enjoying our relationship. Not too long ago I took an extensive personality test and one of the results was that I was highly critical of myself. Here is what it said:

You recognize that self-improvement is the most important goal, because it is the means of achieving all goals. However, your strong interest in self-improvement combined with only a moderate level of self-acceptance indicates you may tend to be somewhat self-critical. Although at times you have healthy self-esteem, you may at other times make things a little difficult for yourself by being unnecessarily hard on yourself.

And maybe a little too hard on others close to me. Bad monkey!

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Thursday, December 03, 2009

A leader on leadership

The following is a presentation from General Colin Powell. My claim to fame: my wife was friends with his daughter when they were both very young. I feel like we are pretty close...

Great points that are succinct and to the point. I believe these are important enough to post on each one over the next couple of weeks.

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Wednesday, November 25, 2009

You weren't meant to have a boss


Check out what venture capitalist Paul Graham says about working for a "boss" in this thought provoking post:


I was in Africa last year and saw a lot of animals in the wild that I'd only seen in zoos before. It was remarkable how different they seemed. Particularly lions. Lions in the wild seem about ten times more alive. They're like different animals. I suspect that working for oneself feels better to humans in much the same way that living in the wild must feel better to a wide-ranging predator like a lion. Life in a zoo is easier, but it isn't the life they were designed for.

This doesn't mean that working for a large company is bad, or that there are not problems in small companies or working for yourself. This is essentially the problem when working for a "boss" (in quotes because you can have a manager that doesn't share this characteristic): you lose your sense of individuality and creativity. If you are only there to fulfill a predetermined task so that you are an asset or a liability, you are seen more as a robotic machine than a person who can bring much to the table.

I was just having lunch with a friend of mine who is a hard worker and incredibly smart. He left his company recently because his "boss" didn't think he sat at his desk long enough. But I've also had a "leader" when I worked for PricewaterhouseCoopers that it felt great to work for and encouraged us to grow and be creative. Size doesn't necessarily mean living behind bars, but size certainly increases the chances that bureaucracy starts building the paper walls for zoo development.

One attitude that seems to be distinctive between the "boss" and the "leader" is that the "boss" often tries to control while the "leader" challenges. This is not only true for profit-seeking companies, but for groups that require any amount of organization. There are plenty of not-for-profit organizations and churches that forget that they are there precisely to take risks and serve a greater purpose - and need people freed from zoos to be at their best. At the same time, loss of control doesn't necessarily mean lack of accountability.

If you are the person in charge, ask yourself this question: Would these people follow me willingly, or are they doing this because they feel they have to?

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Thursday, November 19, 2009

Socialnomics

Still not sure if all these social networks online are worth troubling about? You are already way behind the curve.





Who are you trying to reach? Because that is where they are.

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Wednesday, November 18, 2009

Common sense is the enemy of sticky messages

Do you want to know why that message that you sweated over and poured your soul into fell onto an audience that didn't seem to care nearly as much as you, and really not even as much as you expected?

You thought through it, your ideas and statistics and and bullet points were arranged just so that in the end you could come up with your big idea - but nobody understood why this was the big idea! Or maybe they said, Yeah, we agree, but so what?

Chances are your big idea that you worked over, found studies that agree with you, and you even know, you know, that people aren't really doing is something like "companies need great customer service." You just know that without this idea companies are going to struggle, and you have the proof that they are. But people in the audience, or your boss, or co-workers, or congregants, or your kids' sports team are yawning like it is no big deal!

The Heath brothers want to tell you why no one is listening to your incredibly important message: They are thinking Duh. In Made To Stick (72):

Common sense is the enemy of sticky messages. When messages sound like common sense, they float gently in one ear and out the other. And why shouldn't they? If I already "get" what you're trying to tell me, why should I obsess about remembering it? The danger, of course, is that what sounds like common sense often isn't... It's your job, as a communicator, to expose the parts of your message that are uncommon sense.

As an example, Nordstrom wanted to explain to its employees that they need "great customer service." They could have said that, and employees would have yawned. Instead the chose to provide stories that are shocking if you have ever worked in retail (examples come from Built To Last):

  • The Nordie who ironed a new shirt for a customer who needed it for a meeting that afternoon;
  • The Nordie who cheerfully gift wrapped products a customer bought at Macy's;
  • The Nordie who warmed customers' cars in winter while they finished shopping;
  • The Nordie who made a last-minute delivery of party clothes to a frantic hostess;
  • And even the Nordie who refunded money for a set of tire chains - although Norsdstrom doesn't sell tire chains

Nordstrom understands that customer service is important, but just saying that doesn't get you anywhere. Now all of a sudden you are comparing what you are supposed to do with the examples. Am I providing that level of customer service?

What if instead your message was something more like "Customer Service Is The Only Thing" or "Customers Are More Important Than The CEO." What is the uncommon message, in story form or in a way that surprises or shocks the audience? What if you could tell your idea in a way that actually goes against the grain, yet solves a problem?

Now you have something worth sitting up and listening to.

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Sunday, November 15, 2009

Haiku challenge

My daughter and I decided to do a Haiku challenge this week to push our creativity, challenge ourselves, and have some fun. Each day of the week Autumn is going to pick a subject and we have till the end of the day to write a poem using that format. Here is our first one on "winter":


John:
Bitter wind rebukes
Then snatches the breathe away;
See it floating by.

Autumn:
Sugary sprinkles,
Beautiful white cupcake earth,
Marshmallow snowmen.

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Thursday, November 05, 2009

Anger and certainty

Often when we try to influence someone, we try to do so in a "rational" manner by using stats and logic, because surely if they could only see the "facts" then there is no other conclusion.

What we fail to see is that "facts" rarely convince or persuade anyone, they really just help reassure ourselves that we are right. The best way to convince someone of something? You have to tap into their emotions.

Don't read that as manipulate. What it basically means is that you have to help them care. Which is why it is so hard to understand why we sometimes use argumentative language that only gets people defensive. If the person on the other side of your cause is guarded because of you, your cause is already lost. Check out this observation from Made To Stick (67):

Emotions are elegantly tuned to help us deal with critical situations. They prepare us for different ways of acting and thinking. We've all heard that anger prepares us to fight and fear prepares us to flee. The linkages between emotion and behavior can be more subtle, though. For instance, a secondary effect of being angry, which was recently discovered by researchers, is that we become more certain of our judgments. When we're angry, we know we're right, as anyone who has been in a relationship can attest.

Humor opens us up to possibilities. Two-way conversation provides an avenue for people to find bridges into other possibilities. Persuasion is not a battle to be won, but a joining of arms in a cause. Be strong in your beliefs and wise with your words.

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Monday, November 02, 2009

Don't assume

People are unhappy in your organization, and you don't know it.


In the book All Customers Are Irrational (73), the author talks about customers leaving and management rarely has a clue: "Several studies over the last few years have shown that, of the customers who recently left a company, only 4 percent ever bothered mentioning to the company that they had some sort of issue."

You've been there. You've switched services - phone, gas station, electric, whatever - and you didn't bother telling the old company why. You just moved on.

The problem is, in the organization you are a part of now, people are unhappy and you don't know it. Unless a crisis occurs, you assume everybody feels the same way you do. But they don't. And they will express that unhappiness to everyone except you.

Don't assume you know what is going on. Don't be the person who locks themselves in their office or stays stuck in their cubicle or refuses to take the temperature of the family dynamics.

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Friday, October 30, 2009

Setting Sail

I love this quote from John Shedd:

A ship in the harbor is safe, but that is not what ships are built for.
It is always a temptation to stay in the safe zone, the place where you are comfortable. But that is not what makes organizations great, or frankly, even of value. A ship that refuses to leave the harbor is a ship that is worthless, except maybe to the crew that is afraid to sail; and that never lasts.

To continue the analogy, we like captains who can describe the adventures found on the sea, discovering new lands, and asking people to climb aboard for a trip that has risks but the journey is worth it. Perhaps you are one of those captains longing to lead people in a direction rather than sitting still collecting barnacles. Let me describe what you will inevitably find once you really begin to lead:

A "middler." What is a "middler"? Someone who stands on the shore doing all he or she can to hold the ropes so that boat doesn't go anywhere, all because they don't want to get wet.

I love how Edwin H. Friedman describes "middlers" in his book A Failure of Nerve: Leadership in the Age of the Quick Fix:
In any type of of institution whatsoever, when a self-directed, imaginative, energetic, or creative member is being consistently frustrated and sabotaged rather than encourage and supported, what will turn out to be true one hundred percent of the time, regardless of whether the disrupters are supervisors, subordinates, or peers, is that the person at the top of that institution is a peace-monger. By that I mean a highly anxious risk-avoider, someone who is more concerned with good feelings than with progress, someone whose life revolves around the axis of consesus, a "middler," someone who is so incapable of taking well-defined stands that his "disability" seems to be genetic, someone who functions as if she had been filleted of her backbone, someone who treats conflict or anxiety like mustard gas - one whiff, on goes the emotional gas mask, and he flits.
The best part of his description? Often the "middlers" are nice and charming.

If you are going to be a leader, or a captain setting sail out of the harbor of status quo, then expect people to be hanging on to the ropes. Friedman's advice, which we'll explore more later, is to make sure that you are concentrating on your own integrity rather than thinking of the "middlers" as a problem to solve.

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Thursday, October 29, 2009

Ultimate Leaf Wrestling


I reserve a part of the yard for my kids to find fun things to do with a large pile of leaves. This year they came up with "Ultimate Leaf Wrestling." These are the rules, unchanged from how they wrote them:


ULW
Ultimate Leaf Wrestling

1. No choking
2. No holding someone under
3. No pinching
4. No spitting
5. No throwing leaves

How to win:
You have to push an oponent off the pile. You have 3 chances if you fall out by yourself. Last one standing in the pile of leaves wins. (if you run out chances you're out)

* ONLY TWO TIME OUTS PER MATCH *

Types of Games:
Royal Rumble = free for all
Single match = 1 v 1
Tag Team = 1 v 2 or 2 v 2

Tag team = if you need a rest you tag your partner, or the person out, and they go in. However, if you step out without touching your partner, there is no extra and the other two keep battling.

Single match = normal 1 v 1

Royal Rumble = normal rules but more than two people can be in.

Let the games begin!

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Wednesday, October 28, 2009

The Commander's Intent

I recently read a blog that said we should not plan. While I am aware that plans are not fool-proof (see previous blog post), plans do help you think through issues and hopefully help provide great questions (more on this later).

What if, within your organization, people knew basically what to do without needing play-by-play instructions from their leaders? What if people could make decisions on their own and improvise when needed wherever they are and no matter the context? What if people were generating solutions, and this is the amazing part, everyone was on the same page rather than generating solutions that benefit different causes?

In the book Made To Stick (26), the Heath brothers talk to Colonel Kolditz in the U.S. military about how plans can quickly become obsolete on the battlefield, nicely captured in the phrase "no plan survives contact with the enemy." For you that may be "no sales plan survives contact with the customer" or "no lesson plan survives contact with teenagers." The military adapted a new planning process called Commander's Intent (CI).
CI is a crisp, plain-talk statement that appears at the top of every order, specifying the plan's goal, the desired end-state of an operation. At high levels of the Army, the CI may be relatively abstract: "Break the will of the enemy in the Southeast region." At the tactical level, for colonels and captains, it is much more concrete: "My intent is to have Third Battalion on Hill 4305, to have the hill cleared of enemy, with only ineffective remnants remaining, so we can protect the flank of Third Brigade as they pass through the lines."

The CI never specifies so much detail that it risks being rendered obsolete by unpredictable events. "You can lose the ability to execute the original plan, but you can never lose the responsibility of executing the intent," says Kolditz. In other words, if there's one soldier left in the Third Battalion on Hill 4305, he'd better be doing something to protect the flank of the Third Brigade.
...
Colonel Kolditz gives an example: "Suppose I'm commanding an artillery battalion and I say, 'We're going to pass this infantry unit through our lines forward.' That means something different to different groups. The mechanics know that they'll need lots of repair support along the roads, because if a tank breaks down on a bridge the whole operation will come to a screeching halt. The artillery knows they'll need to fire smoke or have engineers generate smoke in the breech area where the infantry unit moves forward, so it won't get shot up as it passes through. As a commander, I could spend a lot of time enumerating every specific task, but as soon as people know what the intent is they begin generating their own solutions."
Here is an example from a for-profit organization: Southwest. Any guesses on their Commander's Intent? "We are the low-fare airline." In the decision making process, you might have several options to choose from, but with the CI the decision making process has a filter question: which decision helps us stay the low-fare airline?

At the Combat Maneuver Training Center, the unit in charge of military simulations, recommends the officers arrive at the Commander's Intent by asking themselves two questions:
If we do nothing else during tomorrow's mission, we must ___________.

The single, most important thing we must do tomorrow is ___________.
Find the core of what this organization is about. Not two pages, not even two paragraphs. What is the core.

This can, and should, be applied to parenting, to religious institutions, to for-profit and not-for-profit organizations, to teams, etc. Two examples that I have used personally:

"We are training our kids to be capable and responsible adults by the time they leave our house at 18 years of age." Now there is a end-goal established with a definitive time-line. At each age we know we need to help them progress to being responsible for themselves; what should that look like at 18? How do we backtrack from there to where they should be at 13? This should also help make decisions about involvement in activities, family chores, etc. It is far more than just getting them to be behave like you want them to so they don't embarrass you in that moment.

"This church exists to train people to be every-day followers of Jesus." Training is more than lecturing, it also means helping people enact knowledge and behaviors into their lives. It can be applied to different demographics - how do we train students or parents or couples or seniors to be every-day followers of Jesus? It is far bigger mission than copying what you did last year so everyone is happy.

So what is your Commander's Intent?

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