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This link purports to explain women. Never fear, it is not 900 pages long. Not that it is the final answer, but it does give a little scientific data on the feminine half of the population. And really, guys, don't expect scientific data to help explain what's going on in their heads. But at least its a conversation starter: "How has your amygdala being working these days?"
Showing posts with label Life. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Life. Show all posts
Friday, August 22, 2008
Monday, August 18, 2008
Respect
Sometimes, it is a good thing to walk in someone else's shoes. Yesterday I did that literally as I played two-on-two beach volleyball with some friends. I came back sunburned, aching, and with a mouth full of sand. It was fun, but I'm not quitting my day job to train for any summer Olympic sports. Maybe I could be ready for curling by the time the winter Olympics get here...
Wednesday, August 13, 2008
The Baby Fascination
Last week my brother, his wife, and their baby came to visit. While they were here we went to the Pittsburgh Zoo. At the zoo we showed my baby niece the baby tiger cub and two baby elephants. It was baby day for the Vaughts at the zoo!
Everybody waits in lines to see these babies. People seem to have a natural baby fascination.
So what is it about them that is really that fascinating? You always hear comments such as: "Awww, isn't that the cutest little thing!" Really? Have you really taken a long, close look at a baby hippo? They look like a 5 year-old went crazy with some clay. And while you're at, have you taken good luck at a baby of any kind? C'mon, they really aren't that great. And newborn humans look more like E.T. from the Spielberg movie than a miniature adult.
My personal opinion? It's the newness. It's a visual reminder of the mystery and beauty of life.
While we were watching the tiger club play with a trainer, everyone was snapping photos of this new creature frolicking around, playing and having a good time. We love that. We love their curiosity, their fresh eyes, and their playfulness.
At the same token, we love those aspects in all ages. We love being around others who are curious, who have fresh eyes, and who are playful and fun. But those characteristics are so easy to lose, it is so easy to get into a rut and just plod your way around. But you don't have to. So take your cue from a cute little tiger cub - enjoy today, be curious, and see life with some fresh eyes today.
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Tuesday, August 05, 2008
What's Your Take On My "Conversation With Stuff"?
In reference to this post, I am providing a list of the stuff that I bought over the last week:
- breakfast at Panera's with a friend
- dinner at Bob Evans (chicken-fried steak)
- a Gameboy Advance used game for my youngest son (in exchange for work that he did)
- 2 disc golf frisbees (one is tie-die, if that helps)
- a custard and icee mix at Rita's with the fam
- dinner at Denny's (I was there for 3 hours late at night finishing a talk; they are one of the few local places that are open 24/7)
- Dunkin' Donuts on the way to church
- the book The Thousand Faces Of A Hero
It could be a little more exciting, like maybe tickets to New Zealand or scuba gear. I am planning on doing sky diving for my birthday, so it's not completely boring. Track your expenses and post them on your blog, if you have one - see what people can deduce about you from your purchases.
Saturday, April 05, 2008
Kids Re-Writing Beloved Stories
We were at a elementary school fair last night - millions of elementary students running through the halls yelling and screaming, throwing mini-frisbees, climbing on stuff - oh yeah, it was something.
I was roaming the hallways with my kindergarten son, staying to the sides so I wouldn't get hurt. While he was in line for a game, I was reading some of the work that was posted on the lockers. One class had rewritten the ending to a Little Bear story.
Are you familiar with Little Bear? He is the cute little bear cub that has wonderful little friends like duck and cat, and a loving stay-at-home mom and a dad that is a ship's captain (not sure about that one). His stories are generally about playing with his friends and using his imagination, like pretending to go to the moon. I have been blessed that not only do we have Little Bear books, but a few Little Bear movies.
Anyway, in this particular story Little Bear is playing with his human friend Emily. Most of the rewritten stories are like "They played, went home, the end." But here are some excerpts from a few of the best:
A girl's version: Little Bear went out to play with Emily the next day but couldn't find her. Emily had moved far away and Little Bear was very sad.
A boy's version: Little Bear and Emily sat down to eat and Little Bear ate so much that he got fat and couldn't play anymore.
The best (guess whether a boy or a girl wrote this one): Little Bear said to Emily, "Would you like to play?" She said OK and then he ate her.
When I was in graduate school and was subbing, I would try to substitute in an elementary school. If we had some free time, I would play a story game similar to rewriting stories. I would start off with a line like: "I was walking down the beach..." and then the next kid fills in some action. Before two or three kids in, I'm getting eaten by a shark, chased by a dog, and other dangers right at my heels. I no longer ask why grownups act the way they do - those stories are still going on in their head!
Monday, March 10, 2008
Pickleball and Online Degrees
My friend Joe and I had our first real tournament game in doubles pickleball last Thursday. We played two housewives who were very nice, and very new to the game. Both of us are tennis players, so there wasn't a whole lot of excitement until the last game. In fact, we only lost one point in the two games that meant something.
My form of entertainment during the games was talking to Joe about how we could use mental tactics to win the games against these very nice ladies, such as yelling at them while they are swinging at the ball, hitting the ball hard at one of them to send a message, hitting the ball way out of bounds and insisting that they get it, etc. Needless to say, we didn't actually do any of that, but it was funny talking about it.
For the last game, we decided to switch partners so that it might be a little more even. During the game, Joe hit a ball moderately hard at me when I was at the net. We both laughed about it. At the end of our time, when there was less than a minute left, Joe came to the net and hit the ball to me. I decided to have a little fun as well and just whaled the ball directly at him. Watching him flail at this high-speed wiffle ball that hit him was the highlight of my evening, and I couldn't stop laughing about it. Joe, fortunately, is good-natured.
Found out later on that Joe and a different friend were hanging around, and through conversations found out that one of the ladies was a elementary school teacher of Joe's friend's kid. When the teacher found out that I was a minister, she jokingly asked if I got my degree online. She admitted that she had an enjoyable time playing with us, but I thought the "online degree" comment was a great line.
Tuesday, July 24, 2007
Thumbing Your Nose @ Death
When I was a teenager, my girlfriend and I would stick out our tongues every time we drove by a cemetery - I suppose our way of stickin' it to death. I'm not really sure why we did this, but it did elicit some kind of risque feeling, maybe like we were mooning the preacher when he wasn't looking. Of course, now I'm the preacher...
At some point, something happened that made me think I shouldn't be doing that. Somehow I got this feeling that death was somehow going to stick it to me if I didn't watch myself.
Every day since we've moved, I drive by this very large cemetery on the way to the church building. Somehow Nancy and I got on the subject of how we wanted to be buried and what we wanted to have happen to our bodies. Do you ever have those conversations, and then are a little freaked out by them? I don't know why it bothers me to talk about it - I'm not really all that worried about dying myself. But for some reason I don't even like saying the word "dead". I much prefer the euphemisms such as "passed away", "no longer with us", "moved on". I've grown out of liking phrases such as "kicked the bucket" (what in the world does that mean, anyway?).
My dual feelings on this perplexes me. I'm really not worried about my own death, as long as I feel like I'm giving it all I got. Maybe it is just a more healthy understanding that our time here is so short. What bothers me more is that the time that I do have is slipping so rapidly between my fingers. The time with the kids, laughing and playing. The time with my wife, most everything we do, except maybe when she is being annoying like hanging over my shoulder when I'm cooking, except even those times are good. And the memories are fading. Jonathan as a baby. I can barely remember holding Autumn when she was little like she was my doll and I was never letting her go, and her just kind of barely hanging on like she was independent, but still wanted that touch (even at two). Friends. Moments to myself. Memories.
Death Be Not Proud
by John Donne
Death be not proud, though some have called thee
Mighty and dreadfull, for, thou art not soe,
For, those, whom thou think'st, thou dost overthrow,
Die not, poore death, nor yet canst thou kill mee.
From rest and sleepe, which but thy pictures bee,
Much pleasure, then from thee, much more must flow,
And soonest our best men with thee doe goe,
Rest of their bones, and soules deliverie.
Thou art slave to Fate, Chance, kings, and desperate men,
And dost with poyson, warre, and sicknesse dwell,
And poppie, or charmes can make us sleepe as well,
And better then thy stroake; why swell'st thou then?
One short sleepe past, wee wake eternally,
And death shall be no more; death, thou shalt die.
Thursday, July 19, 2007
Writing Blogs
I've been out for a bit, but I think I have a good excuse this time. My wife left the kids and I in Pennsylvania and headed back to Texas to finish packing. I know it had to be done, but it still wasn't very nice of her but I'm sure I'll forgive her the moment she walks in the door.
So I've been playing the single dad for the past 11 days, and it has been tough. I've loved the time that I've gotten to spend with the kids, but my schedule is pretty whacky - get computer time for emails and calls, 8:00-9:30a; breakfast and chores, 9:00-10:00a; playtime, plan day, 9:30-10:00a; work at the church, go to a park, eat, run errands, 9:30a-5:00p; try to finish off something whether it's play or work or eat, 3:00-10:00p; actually put together my public speaking stuff, 10:00p- ;worry that I'm missing something, 2:00a-8:00a.
The kids have been great. They have been swapping days to see who works on the kitchen, trash, and laundry (Autumn actually folds the clothes, us boys are lucky to put them in the right room). But so far I consider my job as a the single father a success. Here is my criteria:
House not lit on fire
Underwear not hanging on living room furniture
Color check the fridge - get rid of anything green once a week
House not flooded
We've even set up a system to water the plants - put the brownest one outside until it rains, then wait till another starts to turn brown. The magic to our wonderful system!
Anyway, we will try to keep our sanity until she gets back by
Tuesday, May 22, 2007
Weddings
I had the honor of officiating Mike Miller and Christine Johnson's wedding this past weekend, and it was a blast. They had a beautiful and simple wedding. Someone noticed that I was listed as the "celebrant" for the wedding - what would I have been called at a funeral? A "depressant"?
One of the groomsmen who had come up for the wedding from Arkansas asked us during the rehearsal dinner if we had any funny wedding stories. At my own wedding, it was such a blur for me that the only thing I remember is lighting the unity candle during a song, and then the choir sang like 5 verses of the song so Nancy and I were chit-chatting for quite a while by the candle. At my sister's wedding, the minister who performed the wedding kept calling her by some other name and she had to keep reminding him who she was. At my brother's wedding, I was the minister but bumped the table that held the unity candle and almost knocked it over. Lighting the church on fire probably would have been memorable.
Bruce Black, the Sr. Minister at Fairfax Church of Christ, has tons of great wedding stories, including one in which the people that were getting married were clowns. And yes they did.
Have any good wedding stories of your own?
Tuesday, April 17, 2007
Transforming into a Geek
The sad thing is, I know a number of people who would totally do this. Brent, if you are out there, send a video!
Wednesday, March 21, 2007
Strange questions
I was sitting at lunch today by myself while reading a book when a college student asked me, "Are you the prize monkey?" I said, "I'm not quite sure I know what you are talking about." (The day might have been even stranger if I had.) He replied, "I heard that the prize monkey was sitting alone somewhere near here." The only response I could think of at the moment was, "I don't think I'm the prize monkey."
Anybody beat that for "strange question of the day"? I can think of plenty of good responses now; how about you?
Friday, March 16, 2007
Fear
I'm on spring break (the reason for the lull in blogs) with my family in the mountains of New Mexico; and when I say family, we have a loaded house here. We went skiing yesterday, and in days of the past, skiing and fear were two words that would not be seen in the same post.
When I was younger, there truly were few things that I was afraid to try, as my high school skiing buddies could attest. I wasn't all that great, but that wouldn't stop me from racing them down the mountain or flying off a ledge. We would stop at the top of a slope, they would point out a jump and dare me to try something. They knew that I would never turn them down.
That has resulted in some tremendous crashes and occasionally a pretty amazing feat. But it was all different Tuesday as I was on the ski slopes with my family. I hadn't been skiing in several years, and I took it easy. I saw a few jumps and went around them. There were some spots where I could pick up a lot of speed and I slowed down.
So it is that I'm just getting old? I suppose that is part of it. I've experienced hurt and pain. I've had several surgeries on body parts and I know that it could happen again. Getting up after falling down just isn't as easy as it used to be.
I'm really not that old, so coming to this realization is hard. I fear the next morning after I have taken a couple of hard falls. I fear landing wrong and going through rehab for six months. I now have fear when I watch my kids and hope that they have a little more trepidation (but still have chutzpah) than I did going down the slopes of life.
My oldest son actually had a bad fall on the slopes and sprained his knee. The swelling will go down in a couple of days and he is already up and playing in the backyard, but it just drags up the fear that I have of the future.
What is my fear? Potential pain and lost opportunity.
There is a good part to this fear - it helps me to relish other moments. I try to drink in the hugs that I get from my kids. I try to think "this is good" when my wife and I share our thoughts and hearts. I love having a good laugh and experiences with my friends. These become the glue in my life in the face of fear and brokenness. I just hope that the strength of the cherished moments are strong enough to help me overcome the fears when I need to be brave.
So tell me, friends, how do you know the difference between a good fear and a bad one?
Wednesday, March 07, 2007
Medicine and Traveling
We have traveled more in the past three months than I have in at least a decade, when I was a real business person. You know, I don't really mind traveling. Our kids are at an age, when they travel with us (about half the time lately), where they pretty much take care of themselves. I don't have a fear of traveling - check that, I have fears of what will happen to our luggage, fears of traveling with the flu, etc., just not a fear of the plane taking a nose-dive.
My only problem is when the our means of traveling are dipsy-doodling around.
I have motion sickness. Stupid kinetosis. When things get bumpy or lurchy, my head gets funny and if that doesn't stop soon, my stomach gets not-so-funny. According to Wikipedia, the encyclopedic source of people's best guesses, nausea actually means seasickness; although for some strange reason I never get motion sick or nausea on a boat. But I digress.
At the onset, I'll do the usual of trying to look out the window, which might get annoying if I'm sitting in the middle aisle of the plane and leaning over two other people to see out that tiny window that mostly shows me the wing or engine. Usually that will keep it at bay, or maybe I'll get lucky and be sleepy and then just drool on the person next to me with my head on their shoulder.
But when I really need to, or if I'm on one of the puddle jumpers, I'll take medicine. The only problem is, after popping a couple of Dramamines, I'm never quite sure what will happen.
I'll probably stop being motion sick. That's the good news. The bad news is I'm one of those people that medicine pops a big wallup. Not just medicine, any chemical has a big impact on my system. I can drink a glass of tea with dinner and it'll keep me up later. Decaff coffee will make me bouncy. So when I take something that may cause drowsiness, most of the time it will leave me lying on the floor within minutes. My wife hates it when I take Dramamine on those short planes because they may be only 45 minutes long, but the Dramamine will put me out for an hour and a half. The plane will be landing, she will be punching me trying to wake me up, and I'll be saying something like, "Leave me alone, Mom, just ten more minutes before school starts."
But it doesn't always happen like that. Sometimes I get strange side effects. Sometimes the medicines will do the exact opposite, like keep me awake for days. I was taking some heavy meds when I had my shoulder surgery, and I didn't sleep for 3-5 days and can't remember most of what happened. My wife said I was giggling and flirting with the nurses on the way out of the doctor's office.
So we get on a plane not too long ago and I pop a couple of Dramamines 'cause the ride over to the airport wasn't so smooth. I do so about ten minutes before we board and it was perfect timing - I got in my seat and almost instantly was asleep. Perfect, for the first half hour. Then for some reason I pop up, wide awake. Within minutes, my legs and feet start to itch and shake. It was the second worse plane ride I had been on in the last couple of years. I was shaking my legs into the aisle, kicking under the seat, and was just generally squirming for several more hours; it just made me hate those first class travelers all the more - I could be squirming without hitting my shins into the seat in front of me. My four year old thought it was pretty funny.
That's why I generally avoid medication. Who knows what something like the diet pill would do to me.
Monday, February 19, 2007
Movie Recommendation
I probably won't make many movie recommendations, it is just hard to do so these days. But we just watched "Born Into Brothels" - see it. I want to write more but it is just hard to put into words right now.
Thursday, February 08, 2007
Stories from the substitute
I was eating lunch with the early elementary class that I was substitute teaching for the other day and we were talking about who grew up in Abilene and who moved here. One of the little girls told me about how she moved here from another town and her daddy was still in the other town. I asked why she moved and she told me about how her mother had to call the police and she told the police that daddy was hitting her. So they moved away, but the little girl still misses her dad.
That is one thing that I like about subbing. There are a lot of things that are strange or just plain different, like the fact that very few first graders seem able to say "Mr. Vaught" without coming up with something that sounds Martian (so kids all over the place just know me as "Mr. V"). There is the inevitable kid every other time I sub that gets sick and I'm dodging stuff, there is the knucklehead who tries to get laughs while I'm not looking, and there is ALWAYS the one sweet kid who is just annoying because she is constantly clamoring for your attention.
But the stories you just inevitably overhear keep it real.
Thursday, February 01, 2007
Broken World, again
Did some more substitute teaching again, and more stories of children from broken homes. I asked another teacher about the one child who seemed to have the most problems, behavior and emotional, and she just said that the parents were going through a rough time and the father usually did not treat him very well.
I went home and hugged my children.
I would love to hear stories of families and young lives that have been transformed...
Monday, January 29, 2007
"I'll take that pizza right there..."
Do you ever find yourself lost in thought and just end up on autopilot, doing whatever without really realizing what you are doing? Apparently, my autopilot isn't always so smart (maybe it's why I didn't become a pilot).
Over the holidays Nancy and I were heading to a friend's house in Virginia who just had knee surgery. When I called on the cell phone in the car to tell him we were coming over that night we asked if we could bring dinner. He said that he would call in an order and we discussed whether we should have Chinese food or pizza. I hung up the phone and continued on our way.
In the shopping mall near his house, both the pizza store and the Chinese take-out were close to each other, but I was intent on getting into the pizza store. I rushed in and asked the guy behind the counter if a pizza order was ready. He asked me what the name was and I responded, "I'm not sure if he used my name or his." He asked me what the order was, and again I responded, "I'm not sure what he called in." The guy behind the counter said that someone called in an order fifteen minutes ago and it was ready. I said, "I'll take it." And I did - paid for it and ran out the door.
Maybe you have figured it out, but I didn't till I got to my friend's house - he had called in a Chinese food order. I ran back to the Chinese food joint to pick up the order and on the way back in I saw someone going into the pizza place. I took the long and less conspicuous way back to the car.
We had plenty to eat that night and yes, the pizza was very good.
Thursday, January 25, 2007
Broken World
I substitute teach occasionally to bring in a paycheck while we are in job limbo. It's not the most glamorous job, but I try to focus on the kids who are obviously struggling. Some days that seems to be most of the kids. Not too long ago I overheard one of the kids mention to the others that his dad was in prison. The kids started up a conversation about the people in their lives who are in prison - these are elementary students. When there was at one occasion a small group of five of the kids, I asked them how many had close relatives who had been in prison. Here are the stats:
- Four of five had someone closely related, no further than cousin, in prison
- Two of the five had a father who was or in prison currently
- A different one had a mother who had been in prison
- Most had brothers or cousins who were currently in prison
It just makes me ache thinking about it. Percentages tell us that unless some event that is truly transformative, or someone, comes into their lives, they will repeat that behavior.
I don't know that we can truly "fix" anything; certainly not without God's help. But we need a community of people that sees something beautiful in the pieces that are laying all around us.
Wednesday, January 24, 2007
Reality Church - coming to a blog near you
Dan Kimball had a wonderful blog post on the life cycle of a disgruntled church goer. You know you've been there, don't act like you haven't...
Which part did you find the most humorous (mostly because it's true)?
Wednesday, January 17, 2007
A Great Resolution
I was listening to the Dec 31, 2006, sermon from Erwin McManus in which he had one of the greatest New Year's Resolutions that I have heard:
Make a friend with someone crazy.
Meaning, make a friend with someone different than you. Really DIFFERENT. Like, if you are a democrat, find a republican or a green party or whatever, just something different. If you are reserved and shy, find someone outgoing and crazy. If you like movies, find someone who likes the opera.
Expand your world. Don't be boring and only hang out with people just like you who only affirm the ruts that you are making in this journey. Sure, you feel comfortable with them and its easy to hide from your insecurities, but just think about the possibilities it might open in your life.
Here's the best thing that it might do - get you to understand that people can be different and that's ok, that we were created as wonderful individuals that are all equal.
You, and I, need to be able to love people and be inclusive for those that no more deserve it than the fact that they just are. God loves you, and you certainly have your loose-ends.
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